Rama Moondra

Do not know how much has been written and said about gender differences. Men do not listen is the most common complaint I hear from womenfolk. I think it is a real bliss. That way they do not hold too much inside them. No grudges either for a long time.

 Women are sensitive. My male friends have fixations on reactive nature women have. Because they do listen and store. It also means they please people with small details.

  I think it is more personal than gender specific. I am very good at reading maps. Almost gave complex to my drive companions in Rajasthan in desert area. I forget dates at the drop of hat and keep getting nasty remarks from friends and family.

 On the other side, my male friends remember dates like their death announcement had happened for that day. Crib on smallest possible stuff and sometimes make it impossible to relate to. Some of them are alive because I was afraid of  fourteen long years of imprisonment.

 So, where is the key to be happy? The mutual respect and care of course plays a pivotal role but what makes it worth a million bucks is the understanding that every individual has a personal trait.

 Irrespective of gender, there is a dormant man in every woman and every man has a soft, sensitive woman hidden in him.  I can not shed a tear come what may but have seen strongest of men crying and envied them for this strength.

It is right partnership of any form between two genders that brings out the best creations.The most beautiful connections understand the other person the way one wants to be and give space to blossom a barren land to convert in to flowers ladden garden.

  Love is looking in the same direction, not at each other. Not always atleast.

Life has its own style of coaching and it depends on the human beings to take that learning. My relationship with life has made me learn more than usual. I meet new people everyday. I have seen admiration, adoration and pampering. I have seen jealous, hatred and crib always people. I think we all do.

I have clients and friends who are permanently upset. I am sure even god can feel sorry about some of his creations. “How do you remain so cheerful?” I face this question thrice in a week.

To me, it is about an age-old game of Expectations and Possibilities. There is nothing called “unconditional giving”. We all give to get it back and when one does not receive in the same proportion, it pains. Sometime, people do expect everything without investing much and keep blaming their counter parts. If the other person believes in giving a long rope to relations, poor person had it. Some expect unrealistic just because one does not care much and other cannot care less.

 Sure-fire recipe of becoming happy go lucky is the ability to be grateful. It is so important to be thankful. Every day with a new sunray on my face, I smile to life and say thanks to almighty. After all, I get up from a comfortable bed, on my own and can afford to get all luxuries. (Moreover, capacity of buying is relative term). If anything goes my way,I feel great about expextations fulfilled,if not,I deposit that in failed possibility account.

I have learnt that though its bliss to have care and love, even more blissful is to give it back . Some relations will betray, some will die their death and a few will be frozen in archives of time. What makes life going is to meet strangers, be a part of their life, get and give happiness.

That one capacity decides how much life we live in every moment.

 I may feel like writing oodles on this subject but that will be too textual. Therefore, I would rather concentrate on applicability in everyday corporate function. 

Dealing with uncertainty, moving from ignorance to knowledge, is the focus of cognitive process. My major challenge as a capacity builder is that people do not want to grow and recognize their cognitive reasoning.

 Let us look at a simple example; a close friend of mine is going through a painful patch. He tried leaving his home thrice, been upset with his father’s behavior terribly and went back every time. Very angry with self and others, he reeled under loosing everything despite his soul belonged there. He felt like a little kid on a busy street without parents and ran back. He still is unhappy.  Now unknowingly, with every little possibility that could take him back, he availed it.

Unable to reason, “No matter how hard you try to please, some people would never want you the way you want”. Now he is dealing with uncertainty but refuse to move on from ignorance to knowledge.

 Why accepting ignorance is difficult?  Most of us do not think and the routine, mundane jobs do not allow us to do so. Surprisingly we do not realize it either. Hiding behind a façade,” I did not understand it then” One of the challenges of cognitive reasoning is ability to accept whatever happens around us, just the way it is. It soothes later though may irritate to begin with.

However, exceptions are around.  My boss’s cognitive reasoning is moving on from old patterns. He believes Alcohol should be sold in tetra packs. ” Nasha sharab me nahi hai toh bhi kya, No risk taking business”

 Corporate Definition: Reasoning is ability to get a reason for everything.

I grew up as an individualistic person. So, if anyone around me had mood swings  I could not care less. It started changing when I met AB. Widow,Issue less woman she gave everyone a piece of her bad mood. Fights on trivial issues and shouting on petty things are her nature. Her male subordinates laughs at her back and uses her emotionally. I started digging in “Converging Issues”- root cause.  Her being alone and working under her influential brother made her a person,who was continuously trying to make an impression.  The mood swings were manifestation of authority .

  Next assignment I met Manjulika. Married to a General Manager of  MNC, she has a great career herself. A lovely child and happy family portrait stops here. Starved, snubby and authoritative, Manju was difficult to predict. Her male sub actually bet on her mood for the day. The word is PMV in office.Present Market value of peers. It will depend on how her mood will be that day. Here again, I thought for a reason.

Then I understood why..Woman are on a spree of living life for someone else. “Masochism” is causing pain to self. First sip of Gripe Water is gulped down with that learning.  They try being a superwoman. nothing less than best will do.  So, if someone is living life to find happiness through others, they need to be  appreciated. Lack of appreciation kills joy of giving ( if any) and generates anger. Hence the swing most of times.  Though menopausal swings are not part of this.

 Be it authority,proving self or fighting strength trials ,  some imperfection and less than best  does not kill.  If they did,  I would have been dead long ago.