Rama Moondra

To me. Summer is a season of joy. I am sure, not many would agree to this. When you are an inch close to being gone and burnt to ashes given to forty-six degrees of heat, my statement may sound either contemplation of a vacation or a neurotic heat disorder.

 Trust me it is neither. It is another blissful way of “Hopelessly optimistic” my school of thought.

 And why not? Which other season brings you the sheer pleasure of eating mangoes for dinner? The juicy-fruity watermelons and oranges in amazing colorful hue  remind me of life yet to be lived is going to be similar. Colorful and sweet.

 The prizewinner is of course, Ice –Golas. Read them slush if you wish to but let me confess, nights after nights walking near River Thames in London, sitting next to River Sean in Paris and eating orange slush with friends in both places in so called summers, I have longed to be back home and eat real Ice gratings dipped in fragrant rose syrup.

 A few things in life do not change and thank heaven for small mercy. Summers have not changed and so is my attraction of bounty it brings.No wonder, when I got a call from my dear friend Neil to be back in the summertime in Europe, he stated,” Mad or what, summer in India?” my reaction was,” Mad or what, summer in India.”

 Where else…

Do not know how much has been written and said about gender differences. Men do not listen is the most common complaint I hear from womenfolk. I think it is a real bliss. That way they do not hold too much inside them. No grudges either for a long time.

 Women are sensitive. My male friends have fixations on reactive nature women have. Because they do listen and store. It also means they please people with small details.

  I think it is more personal than gender specific. I am very good at reading maps. Almost gave complex to my drive companions in Rajasthan in desert area. I forget dates at the drop of hat and keep getting nasty remarks from friends and family.

 On the other side, my male friends remember dates like their death announcement had happened for that day. Crib on smallest possible stuff and sometimes make it impossible to relate to. Some of them are alive because I was afraid of  fourteen long years of imprisonment.

 So, where is the key to be happy? The mutual respect and care of course plays a pivotal role but what makes it worth a million bucks is the understanding that every individual has a personal trait.

 Irrespective of gender, there is a dormant man in every woman and every man has a soft, sensitive woman hidden in him.  I can not shed a tear come what may but have seen strongest of men crying and envied them for this strength.

It is right partnership of any form between two genders that brings out the best creations.The most beautiful connections understand the other person the way one wants to be and give space to blossom a barren land to convert in to flowers ladden garden.

  Love is looking in the same direction, not at each other. Not always atleast.

A recent article In Times attracted me. “Life comes to full cycle,” Says India’s Ace tennis player for another world champion. It is a soul stirring experience sharing of how they stood against each other when the karmic chakra turned out changing positions.

 I heard long ago, “You meet every person twice.” It means whatever you have done to someone, good or bad, comes back to you. May not be from the same but similar for sure.

My visit to passport office proved it so true. I was denied ECNR stamp. “Go to Mumbai or get a State degree”. The woman was upfront. I knew city office could do that here too. “Listen, I have not been a student here,” I can not have a Gujarat Univ. degree.” She looked at me and asked me to leave the queue. Undeterred, I asked for the senior official. I went to his cabin, explained and offered my documents. Instead looking at them, He kept looking at me, almost making me uncomfortable. Meanwhile, my passport went without documents for stamp and I got a coke to drink.  

 “Do you remember giving blood to some hurt fellow who you picked up from road once late night and took to hospital? He was hit and run case.” Nothing related to the basic conversation that was on, I must have displayed bewildered expressions. A quick journey down memory archives, I did. “Yes, almost four years.” “I have not changed much though,” He smiled. Amused and very happy, I shook hands all over again. My passport came back and I got up saying thanks for the favor. It indeed saved me a lot of hassle.

  He smiled back, “I returned one today. It all comes back to you one day.” I walked my way back to car thinking all the good things I am yet to offer to lot of people.

It  will come back to me living a full cycle and one summer afternoon will become a smiling bond of two strangers.

Life has its own style of coaching and it depends on the human beings to take that learning. My relationship with life has made me learn more than usual. I meet new people everyday. I have seen admiration, adoration and pampering. I have seen jealous, hatred and crib always people. I think we all do.

I have clients and friends who are permanently upset. I am sure even god can feel sorry about some of his creations. “How do you remain so cheerful?” I face this question thrice in a week.

To me, it is about an age-old game of Expectations and Possibilities. There is nothing called “unconditional giving”. We all give to get it back and when one does not receive in the same proportion, it pains. Sometime, people do expect everything without investing much and keep blaming their counter parts. If the other person believes in giving a long rope to relations, poor person had it. Some expect unrealistic just because one does not care much and other cannot care less.

 Sure-fire recipe of becoming happy go lucky is the ability to be grateful. It is so important to be thankful. Every day with a new sunray on my face, I smile to life and say thanks to almighty. After all, I get up from a comfortable bed, on my own and can afford to get all luxuries. (Moreover, capacity of buying is relative term). If anything goes my way,I feel great about expextations fulfilled,if not,I deposit that in failed possibility account.

I have learnt that though its bliss to have care and love, even more blissful is to give it back . Some relations will betray, some will die their death and a few will be frozen in archives of time. What makes life going is to meet strangers, be a part of their life, get and give happiness.

That one capacity decides how much life we live in every moment.

 I may feel like writing oodles on this subject but that will be too textual. Therefore, I would rather concentrate on applicability in everyday corporate function. 

Dealing with uncertainty, moving from ignorance to knowledge, is the focus of cognitive process. My major challenge as a capacity builder is that people do not want to grow and recognize their cognitive reasoning.

 Let us look at a simple example; a close friend of mine is going through a painful patch. He tried leaving his home thrice, been upset with his father’s behavior terribly and went back every time. Very angry with self and others, he reeled under loosing everything despite his soul belonged there. He felt like a little kid on a busy street without parents and ran back. He still is unhappy.  Now unknowingly, with every little possibility that could take him back, he availed it.

Unable to reason, “No matter how hard you try to please, some people would never want you the way you want”. Now he is dealing with uncertainty but refuse to move on from ignorance to knowledge.

 Why accepting ignorance is difficult?  Most of us do not think and the routine, mundane jobs do not allow us to do so. Surprisingly we do not realize it either. Hiding behind a façade,” I did not understand it then” One of the challenges of cognitive reasoning is ability to accept whatever happens around us, just the way it is. It soothes later though may irritate to begin with.

However, exceptions are around.  My boss’s cognitive reasoning is moving on from old patterns. He believes Alcohol should be sold in tetra packs. ” Nasha sharab me nahi hai toh bhi kya, No risk taking business”

 Corporate Definition: Reasoning is ability to get a reason for everything.

Our past teaches us a lot. We all grow up , grow with and grow apart with relationships. I believe, very few things change as quick as relations change their faces. I have seen some people fading out of my life and have been witness to some other people’s life too.

A loved one, a known friend, a fabulous colleague; they all move on and though it hurts occasionally, the process makes space for someone else to move in. I think it is impossible to maintain every person as we embark on journey of life. I personally lost some and gained some too. Nevertheless, what charms me is the chemistry, which clicks with people who are alike, and one keeps getting them on the way. (Thankfully).

 It makes so much sense to let go and un clutter the junk of people who do not value you the same way you would. In the flash of smile, once in a while, a  treasure  sparkles on the face of a stranger. I welcome it every time. The snow melts and takes old footprints with it. New snow gets fresh footprints and new companions to walk on.

After all, life is about meeting, creating memories and moving on. If there were no memories, how poor human race would be.

” You are very lucky”..don’t know how many times I hear that.  Lucky Me? ..Ideally I should have agreed to it. A career by design, enviable lifestyle , family and bunch of friends who loves me despite what I am.:)

But deep inside, I shriek when I hear this term . I work  fourteen hours a day.  My last memory of having slept eight hours is frozen in National Archive of  Amnesia.My facial wrinkles are getting prominent waiting at airports.  Jetsetting on airplane food and live out of a suitcase at least fifteen days a month  to be the lucky person I am. So, the debate continues.Is there a factor called Luck?  I believe , we have a cycle of failures and success. Most people are lucky not only because of right decision capacity but also standing by their wrong decisions.  I have made both and have forgiven myself for making wrong ones.

Luck comes when you do not give up. Luck follows when you believe  in yourself no matter what the world thinks of you. We all  make choices in life. To  go ahead, to struggle,to pay a price of what you want..

Recently I met a single man of fifty years age. Very bitter about being lonely,he kept talking about all the sacrifices he made for his brothers .Precisely the reason , he did not marry. 

To me, it was a choice.To him,it is luck. So,it is luck by chance or by choice? I let my readers decide that.