Rama Moondra

Off late, I am working a lot with voices. Ohh..Did I mention my course of Voice –Over Artist that I took last year. They taught me how   to play with tone but right now, I am writing about telephonic conversations. People judge a lot by the voice they hear. I do  transition coaching on phone and have heard my coaches react sharply to different voice-modulations.

While a picture may be worth a thousand words, a voice is priceless.  Many things a voice can reveal that are worth knowing about someone. Certainty, cooperativeness, authority, and attention are  natural traits that are visible  :) on phone, and a savvy person knows how to leverage them .From umm’s to huh’s, voice is filled with signals that might make a person repeat, skip, or rephrase a question. I do that a lot to get cues in training hall.

In the world that we are in, Internet rules our life. We talk with fingers and learn with eyes glued to computers. Long that you spoke to an old friend wishing New Year. It’s about e-cards and sms.

A lot of conflict resolutions can happen in colleagues if you do not cramp the mail box and call the person. The more we learn with our eyes and tell with our fingers, the less we’re hearing what’s being said.  Voice communication will prove ever more valuable as  the social networking and search engine optimization crowd our world.

A word that comes from a person’s mouth and not their keyboards is going to become as precious as ever. Number-crunching will  get the point across, but voices amplify the meaning.

Listen up.

Let us talk a little business today.

Remember the neighborhood store you used to go to when you were tiny and choosing a chocolate was the biggest difficult decision you made. Every child in your vicinity knew about your latest possessions. You told people about you and how did you get that winning stuff convincing your father.

You talked about yourself then but you do not now. You go unnoticed so many times. So if you are thinking of starting something new or are a small entrepreneur, read on.

It was a time of small towns and family owned businesses. Why were they doing brisk business in those days? What has gone wrong? Blame it on the malls and stop FDI . But small entrepreneurs need to revisit the power they have and underutilizing it. The power of you, talking about yourself. Who can do it better? That’s the way you create “Word of Mouth”.

Talking was the secret to all those family owned businesses way back when (you know, in the 70s and 80s) but it really wasn’t a secret to them; it was just common sense. If you want someone to know about what you’re doing, then tell it to some and they will tell the rest of the world.

In a world controlled by the social networks and media, People love to talk. So, if you are running any small business, got a new practice set up, started a new venture. Speak up, talk about it. Share your vision that you have for your enterprise. Don’t worry about creating a sales pitch. Just convey your passion you have for the business and people will want to tell someone else.

Go ahead..Speak up. That’s the only way people hear you.

One more year has gone by. From the place I am standing right now, I tiptoed to look at what I left behind. Not so surprised that, my eyes are moist.

The year as usual has been losses and gains but losses of humans and gains of more work and success.

Though the year saw lot of goodbyes of big names, for me Jagjit singh was the biggest. His velvet voice was only respite in lonely freezing cold U S days. Tucked in remote western America, I related a lot to his voice. Ghulam Ali echoed my sentiments when he said,” Mera yaar,dildaar chala gaya.” Dev Anand and Mario were next two. Café Mondegar at Colaba Mumbai has been a favourite hangout for me. Mainly because the walls are adorned by Mario’s creations bringing Miss Ninmbupani,Miss Fonseca alive.

My Babuji lost his speech and is now bedridden. Seeing him this way, has taken a lot from my soul. I am slowly waking up to the fact that it’s a countdown of a person who shaped my life in various ways. I wish. I can reverse this and see him the way he always was. Unable to bear this pain, I reel under it.

This year I learnt the biggest art of my life and still practicing it. I finally graduated to treat people the way they treat me. (Have been inhumanly patient with this trait.).  Understood a small fact that door can be locked from both sides.

Three new big names came in client list and brought amazing satisfaction of creativity and strategic implementation of policies which has been my core strength.

I am little more recognized, a little more wanted and though never ever did any business development, I am blessed with an enviable clientele who patiently waited for my dates. Thanks to them and to god almighty.

“May your fan –following increases.” This was a wish sent by a client, who sold two hundred DVDs of my video in one hour.  I now give my video s too with reading material and it has been a great experience.

I also look forward to the journey of becoming a master coach. It takes seven years minimum of brain training and I am on the first step. Exciting but draining every drop of my energy, the four hours study, has cut down on my sleep by two hours. Now I sleep only five hours and hope I master this too.

Right now, after a great new year beginning while watching sun rising from the sea, I am writing this with a faith that the New Year will bring the best for all of us, I hope, not to let go of golden leaves of any plant for this year.

May health, wealth and peace be yours and everyone you love. Happy New Year.

To  Ahmedabad from Bangalore, a normal journey of two and half hours late night flight turned out to be strange experience yesterday.

After three grilling days of Neuro-leadership series coaching, jam-packed schedule, dinner with fellow participants at the airport, I looked forward to some quiet time then after.  Finally delayed flight took off. While listening to an audio -book on my iPod, I felt a little tap on my seat. The cabin crew stood there offering a sandwich.

I politely refused. “This is complimentary.” He clarified.I  refused again smilingly  though asked if I can get a cup of tea.

“Sorry, we do not serve hot beverages in this flight.” I went back to listening mode. Soon the crew came back with a smile. “Regular tea will do for you?” I acknowledged gleefully and thanked twice.

The tea came in and the crew member stood next to me introducing him with a shake hand. I did reciprocate though a bit surprised. “Listen, I have given you my tea so now you at least owe me a coffee in your city.”

I tried getting the context right. “Are you talking to me?” Shocked and bewilderment writ large on my face I asked.

“Yes Yaar! Now I can’t ask you for a drink in that boring city so let’s begin with coffee.” He smiled constantly bending down to talk.

I tried not to look strikingly zapped.“Have we met before?” I gave one chance to assure myself if its case of mistaken identity. “No, but now we can .I come to city every week. Are you married or dating anyone?”

I excused myself sternly now giving a clear stance that it may result in complain. He grinned at me. “It’s ok  …don’t worry. You look so charming. You talked nicely. No one thanks us politely. I thought you will make a good company. Chill now.”

This incident may look very normal though I am a bit shaken. The value system of our younger genre is different. Woman at all ages and strata are deemed as “available” or at least “give it a try”. Is being polite means  signal of any kinds?

This morning, I called a friend to ask that can it be a complaint in writing since I cannot prove the incident. He laughed, “Be happy! It’s a compliment from a male half your age. Don’t act like a sixty year old.”  I hung up even more awestruck.

Is my value system too ancient or have I not been able to catch up with changing times?

B.S.Nagesh,Founder and ex managing director of retail chain Shoppers Stop  has signaled green to “Trrain Foundation.”  A unique concept with tried and tested training modules designed by Aptech, Trrain will build employable capacity in retail staff.

Air-conditioned classroom in a shipping container  fitted into a truck and parked outside shopping malls makes it easy to attend classes for an hour .Coupled with affordable fee Trrain sounds like a viable business model.

Rural India can be second possibility to groom talents from tier three cities and hence increasing employability.The next step can be to explore models of training  physically challenged people that can be employed anywhere, not only retail .

All dreamy, good stuff? Only if government works out on the decision to ease foreign investment in organized retail. Government has to wake up to the fact that FDI is going to increase jobs and the only person suffering in the process is the middle man or intermediaries. The kirana shopkeepers are rich community anyways. Most of them own shops worth crores . So, the friendly neighborhood Kirana guy will exist to make deliveries at home and get you that new coffee brand on demand with apologetic smile of storing your choice next time.

India will take another 100 years to grow up to online shopping of everyday FMCG consumption. Till then, it’s the capacity building process which is the need of the hour. Not banning the growth or revolution.

We all are surrounded by people. Love them, hate them but cannot ignore them. They are all around us. Creations of god almighty exists in full glory everywhere.

Over the years I have become a “reader” and proud of my ability to “read” people.  I believe I have an accuracy rate that is somewhere around 80% of judging others. As for the remaining 15% it doesn’t really matter.

They are residents of cookie cutter categories, (all of them behave alike.) I would rather appear illiterate. Oops…got my math’s wrong…Remaining 5%? Well, those are the ones; I am bonded to emotionally (Read Blinkered.)

So those 80% are shaping my life everyday and every way..oops..typo again.” Their way” if it works.

Some of them are travel agents and send me on guilt trip (free of cost! Mind you).Some people are Frenemies. Friends who are disguised enemies. Continuously proving them right and me wrong.

The third ones are difficult souls. (As if the first two were easy?) Perennially unhappy and trying to be perfect, a sense of pride engulfs them always. “Acquired Reformist” I call them. They try desperately to seek attention and  that too  by pure criticism. Sometimes even without getting any detail about the topics mentioned.

Well, I did not mean to denounce any types. They are colorful and leave indelible marks on my life everyday in some form.

As they say, “variety is the spice of life” and different characteristics are just another spice.  Though sometimes it’s like Coriander on a dish. Does not make a difference if it’s not there but added up, may enhance flavor. So, otherwise mundane life is better with these people and they sure add new dimensions of human psyche  to my training sessions.

So, I might grit my teeth, keep my patience by fake smiles and sometimes hurt, the fact remains intact that all kind of  people are flavor enhancer and I will be kind of lost without them.

The collage refuses to fade. Though my own cup of memories is overflowing, a part of this post is for Amandeep. A son who saw his father’s situation going bad to worst and watched helplessly, feeling wasted despite the best he could do. I now know how it feels.

Today, I am sitting quiet since morning remembering each time I got late returning Babuji’s call. He loved listening to my caller tunes and most of the time his first conversation will begin with discussion of song he heard.

I am born and brought up by extremely perfect parents so nothing, absolutely nothing could have gone wrong by any means in our daily routine. Going to Babuji’s place was such a breather. I could jump around bare feet, cycle on dusty road, eat loadful of sweets in one go, read endless comics, watch TV, apply nailpolish and sleep on sofa.

Though my parents always said that I become a spoilt brat when I visit him, I would turn an oiled angel before going home. My mom struggled with my curly, unruly hair to tie them neat and it would always end up as a soggy tale with no ponytail but Babuji would know how to oil my hair without pain. Till my last visit, he would sit and oil my hair himself scolding on fashion statement of dry hair.

I tried gulping when he looked at my dry hair this time and blinked. “You be alright and oil them soon.” I said trying not to choke.

Fathers are so important figure in our life. They shape our value system, teach us to face life and above all, accept us the way we grow.

One cold night of Christmas, while coming back home, I slept in his lap but woke up feeling cold in face. He made a cup of his palms and covered my ears. The effect was balmy. Years after years, snowy Christmas of different spans of life have given me a lot of chills but the soothing effect continues.

I am sure he will speak again. Till then his hands protecting me on cold nights will keep my heart warm.

For, all those who have seen fathers fading and reeled under it. I pray for my Babuji and everyone who needs it.

The dawn is cracking that an age has come where I need to now play parent to my parents. They are aging, ailing and slowly becoming dependent.

I am back after meeting Babuji in hospital where he is recovering from a paralytic attack which has taken toll on his right side of body and most important, ability to speak of a great orator.  I am silent ever since.

My dark,dusty childhood memory lane is shining bright today . I used to jump on his bed and he used to laugh despite I knew how particular he was about his white, crisp linen. He loved teaching me Hindi vocabulary and a lot of my Hindi speech is because of him.Legends of Amar Chitra Katha and Phantom, Mandrake and Tintin came alive because of him.  Babuji  used to get a special caramelized sweet on Diwali and still the taste lingers on my tongue. I and my first cousins used to accompany him for puja especially for eating sweets and getting fire crackers. .

A repetitive scene is holding my fingers tight like a stubborn kid. He was teaching me how to join words which are difficult to pronounce. I kept failing and he kept smiling, giving me assurance again and again.

Yesterday, when I was holding his finger to put it on words from the word chart to get what he wanted to tell, he faintly smiled, I tried not to let my tears flow.

It’s tearing my heart apart to see him dependent, to see him trying to speak, to get that eating his own food or going to washroom are now farfetched dream but I know he will be fine again.

He had taught me not to cry when I fell flat on my face in childhood, to read stories, to blow bubbles out of shampoo, to hide and eat tamarinds under bed and he pretending to be very angry in front of my mom and dad when they used to come to pick me up. My dad would smile at his elder brother and I would be safe in Babuji’s lap making faces.

Babuji learnt computer at the age of 70 and Gujarati at the age of 75 so that he can read K.M. Munshi. He has always been my inspiration to fight life.

Then how it is possible for him not to recover? How can god not listen to her daughter and grant him health and speech again. Till then, my every prayer is for him and they sure will be heard.

So, moving on from yesterday’s post Pouvoir des émotions, what would create more powerful and effectively implementable sustenance plan?

Let’s go step by step. Today, we will discuss the first one.

Create a positive reinforcement- Start counting everything  which is good in your life. While doing this exercise, keep a paper and pen handy.  Write positives. Do not write any sentence with, “But, If, Just, Honestly.”

Just to caution you, you might time and again revisit things which are not so good in your life. Remember not to get drawn into that bend of river. Its only a downward spiral if you give up.

Your paper might look like this, “I have a good job. I have supporting spouse.”

What it should not read, “I have a good job but real bad boss.I have occasionally supporting spouse but wished someone else to be her/him.”

Nah! That’s not positive reinforcement.

Am I asking you to write imaginary stuff? No…Not at all. It’s all about focusing your entire positive energies and building them together to create a reinforcement that’s everlasting happiness, not forcefully created euphoria.

So, once you have done this in isolation, read the paper. It has tremendous power of uplifting otherwise sagging spirit.

Second Strategy on Emotional Sustenance? As always…come back to this place tomorrow.

“Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used.” Richard E. Byrd

The word I fancy a lot is called Emotional Sustenance. This is a theory based on what is right in your life versus what is wrong. I meet a lot of people every day. Loads of counseling, trainings and coaching keeps my hands full. I always encounter both sides of coin. Its mind boggling to see how weak and timid people are when it comes to Sustenance.

Our lives are so much governed by the conversations we have with others. Either they are good or bad, positive or negative, angry or happy. The list is endless.

So what creates Emotional Sustenance?  A basic understanding of evaluating life with positives will create the feeling of worth.

We all need to belong. To someone, somewhere. We cling, we hold, we let go. Emotions all around us but hardly sustainable.

Every action has an equal or opposite reaction. We all know that. Every interaction has the same detailing. You are praised, you are emotionally charged. You are dumped, emotionally drained out. Both situations are equally powerful.

Your emotional sustenance will always be powerful if you do not let anyone overshadow it. How do people overpower it? One simple step is to scare you off by withdrawing emotional support. Someone giving you a feeling that you are not needed anymore in their life.

It immediately saps your energy and leaves you feeling unwanted. You succumb to it so much that a faint realization too does not happen. The realization that your demand is over with this person, not with the world.

People are created or destroyed just by giving or withdrawing support of emotions. Think if you have a nagging boss, quarrelling spouse, dissatisfied sex life, will your emotions be the same as in the case of this all being positive.

So, how to keep your sustenance high and keep building it over? More on this tomorrow.

Be with me.