Rama Moondra

The movie may have attracted mixed response at theatres but overall delivers a great message. I believe that anything or everything has a message but it depends on us, when and how we take it.

I liked the movie for two basic reasons. One that I like both leads i.e. Deepika and Neil but second reason is more obvious and pertinent. The way love has been projected in the movie is beautiful.

Two scenes that caught my attention had a silent but painful demonstration of love and guilt of a male counterpart. Deepika becomes blind because of Neil’s mistake. She tries to walk without support, gets rejected by her dance partner and from the world too. Trying to learn to walk without any support and blind, she keeps falling and hurting herself. Neil silently stands behind her and bitten by guilt, he tries to catch but resists every time. His guilt and helplessness is projected very well.

Second time, a seasoned skate dancer, Deepika, hurt by reality that Neil was the reason, decides to perform alone on stage which was supposed to be a duet. It was her biggest exam in a way. She starts, moves flawlessly but since solo is not counted, just when she was about to be rejected, Neil enters. Swiftly, he glides next to her. Not holding her even if it was meant to be, not touching her, not consoling her, not even giving a hint of his presence, he shadows her.

She realizes his presence and the dance of love is complete then. They win as love always does.

Sometimes, even when we think, love has left us wounded and alone, all it needs is a little re-assurance of the other person’s shadow. It makes a difference to know that you make a difference in some one’s world.

Today’s blog is for struggle and victories, to hope and belief and to life once again.

Let life happen to you .Just feel it.

Cross cultural sensitivity is a major issue across globe. My clients who deal globally are the poor sufferers. Sometimes, I pity the kind of situation senior bosses get into.

Yesterday, sitting in an American client’s office, we were discussing some of the topics about communication training. “Can I get some examples of their communication gaps?” I asked the person in charge. I must have touched a wrong chord. The music which flew kept grating on my ears.

One of the incidents is narrated as it is. The American client was completely put off with the vendor in dealing. “Buddy I am desperate now and giving up. Go, kiss my A**…” The phone was banged on the other side.

My little lamb, the Indian counterpart burst in to laughter. Then he got up and happily informed his boss about the client being a gay and the reason he wants to deal with him is understood. He gleefully spoke about his charm and how even an American guy, oops gay will succumb to it and feel desperado.

Readers can very well imagine the desperation of senior. I immediately called my colleague to introduce even on phone. Knew it will provide some solace to otherwise hurting and a**…under fire.

I have to wish luck to my colleague now. “May god give him patience and a colder one (you know what) throughout the training.

 I listen to my heart more than my head.True! I mean it. Long ago, I realized, I am more emotional and less logical. (Though I know, if my boss reads it, he would disagree) Being emotional gave me a lot of anger and resentment too but emotions make the world a better place to live. They penetrate me through various means. A drop of tear on someone else’s cheeks, A cute child meeting first time in a shop and making friends with me, A blind girl marrying another physically challenged person, A rain-filled weekend and missing my loved ones, the last friend in the town migrating leaving a feeling of dullness, the list is endless.

With life showering rain and sunshine with shades of grey and gold interwoven, I have grown up as a mature woman outside. In this materialistic world out liars, white liars and cheaters are in abundance, insensitive people and advantage taking in name of charity and breaking my trust is a routine, I still have managed to keep a portion of my heart intact, not immune though I wished it to be so.

I have given money to people knowing it would never come back, I help people who cheat and I have been good to many who in turn have embarrassed me. But I still continue to be same. “Why” -Because, I do not want a single genuine person getting crucified because other nine betrayed. I think it is sin to do so.

 And life has ways to pay back. I have been blessed by great assignments, loving family and friends in every corner of world but what makes it worth listening from heart is, I have received help from unbelievable sources just when I needed,. Every time when a dark corner lights up, I know a prayer is answered. Someone somewhere has prayed for a loved one.

 And god listens from heart to heart just as love does.

Do not know how much has been written and said about gender differences. Men do not listen is the most common complaint I hear from womenfolk. I think it is a real bliss. That way they do not hold too much inside them. No grudges either for a long time.

 Women are sensitive. My male friends have fixations on reactive nature women have. Because they do listen and store. It also means they please people with small details.

  I think it is more personal than gender specific. I am very good at reading maps. Almost gave complex to my drive companions in Rajasthan in desert area. I forget dates at the drop of hat and keep getting nasty remarks from friends and family.

 On the other side, my male friends remember dates like their death announcement had happened for that day. Crib on smallest possible stuff and sometimes make it impossible to relate to. Some of them are alive because I was afraid of  fourteen long years of imprisonment.

 So, where is the key to be happy? The mutual respect and care of course plays a pivotal role but what makes it worth a million bucks is the understanding that every individual has a personal trait.

 Irrespective of gender, there is a dormant man in every woman and every man has a soft, sensitive woman hidden in him.  I can not shed a tear come what may but have seen strongest of men crying and envied them for this strength.

It is right partnership of any form between two genders that brings out the best creations.The most beautiful connections understand the other person the way one wants to be and give space to blossom a barren land to convert in to flowers ladden garden.

  Love is looking in the same direction, not at each other. Not always atleast.

A recent article In Times attracted me. “Life comes to full cycle,” Says India’s Ace tennis player for another world champion. It is a soul stirring experience sharing of how they stood against each other when the karmic chakra turned out changing positions.

 I heard long ago, “You meet every person twice.” It means whatever you have done to someone, good or bad, comes back to you. May not be from the same but similar for sure.

My visit to passport office proved it so true. I was denied ECNR stamp. “Go to Mumbai or get a State degree”. The woman was upfront. I knew city office could do that here too. “Listen, I have not been a student here,” I can not have a Gujarat Univ. degree.” She looked at me and asked me to leave the queue. Undeterred, I asked for the senior official. I went to his cabin, explained and offered my documents. Instead looking at them, He kept looking at me, almost making me uncomfortable. Meanwhile, my passport went without documents for stamp and I got a coke to drink.  

 “Do you remember giving blood to some hurt fellow who you picked up from road once late night and took to hospital? He was hit and run case.” Nothing related to the basic conversation that was on, I must have displayed bewildered expressions. A quick journey down memory archives, I did. “Yes, almost four years.” “I have not changed much though,” He smiled. Amused and very happy, I shook hands all over again. My passport came back and I got up saying thanks for the favor. It indeed saved me a lot of hassle.

  He smiled back, “I returned one today. It all comes back to you one day.” I walked my way back to car thinking all the good things I am yet to offer to lot of people.

It  will come back to me living a full cycle and one summer afternoon will become a smiling bond of two strangers.

Life has its own style of coaching and it depends on the human beings to take that learning. My relationship with life has made me learn more than usual. I meet new people everyday. I have seen admiration, adoration and pampering. I have seen jealous, hatred and crib always people. I think we all do.

I have clients and friends who are permanently upset. I am sure even god can feel sorry about some of his creations. “How do you remain so cheerful?” I face this question thrice in a week.

To me, it is about an age-old game of Expectations and Possibilities. There is nothing called “unconditional giving”. We all give to get it back and when one does not receive in the same proportion, it pains. Sometime, people do expect everything without investing much and keep blaming their counter parts. If the other person believes in giving a long rope to relations, poor person had it. Some expect unrealistic just because one does not care much and other cannot care less.

 Sure-fire recipe of becoming happy go lucky is the ability to be grateful. It is so important to be thankful. Every day with a new sunray on my face, I smile to life and say thanks to almighty. After all, I get up from a comfortable bed, on my own and can afford to get all luxuries. (Moreover, capacity of buying is relative term). If anything goes my way,I feel great about expextations fulfilled,if not,I deposit that in failed possibility account.

I have learnt that though its bliss to have care and love, even more blissful is to give it back . Some relations will betray, some will die their death and a few will be frozen in archives of time. What makes life going is to meet strangers, be a part of their life, get and give happiness.

That one capacity decides how much life we live in every moment.

I had a funny experience recently. A close friend of mine was surprised to see some comments on his blog from US. He checked back to figure out it was a wrong IP address.Incidentally, he felt it was mischief of his subordinate, who volunteered to market his blog. (No wonder, this word is missing in corporate vocab). If you do a good job and that too with good intentions, you had it.

 Very upset and angry, he expressed his concern. Poor subordinate was speechless once he understood how the boss perceived him. I am sure many bosses at corporate level do this mistake. They just hit it hard without understanding that it may bring unwanted reaction. The junior is now working hard to prove himself innocent. (My heart bleeds for emotional volunteers)

It is fine to put anyone under scanner of doubt but the senior authority has to learn to look at motto. What the junior has to gain except trying to make an impression for next year’s appraisal. I personally believe human race has lost how to believe good intentions and retain  genuine people. As it is a rare breed .

To me, the boss was right to check back with junior.  If you value your intuitions, you must. To me, the junior too has a right to feel bad.It hurts being misunderstood.

Though I think, being questioned does not mean permanent distrust. He may clarify though backed up with data. If the boss values last performances, he will not like to loose a good performer.

Once , head of a big corporate drank limewater out of finger bowl because Austrian guest (had not seen it before) drank it and he followed suit. It is important sometime to value the person than rubbing raw corrections.

To me, intent is always more important than content. Wish all distrusting bosses a little piece of peace with their ownself.

 I may feel like writing oodles on this subject but that will be too textual. Therefore, I would rather concentrate on applicability in everyday corporate function. 

Dealing with uncertainty, moving from ignorance to knowledge, is the focus of cognitive process. My major challenge as a capacity builder is that people do not want to grow and recognize their cognitive reasoning.

 Let us look at a simple example; a close friend of mine is going through a painful patch. He tried leaving his home thrice, been upset with his father’s behavior terribly and went back every time. Very angry with self and others, he reeled under loosing everything despite his soul belonged there. He felt like a little kid on a busy street without parents and ran back. He still is unhappy.  Now unknowingly, with every little possibility that could take him back, he availed it.

Unable to reason, “No matter how hard you try to please, some people would never want you the way you want”. Now he is dealing with uncertainty but refuse to move on from ignorance to knowledge.

 Why accepting ignorance is difficult?  Most of us do not think and the routine, mundane jobs do not allow us to do so. Surprisingly we do not realize it either. Hiding behind a façade,” I did not understand it then” One of the challenges of cognitive reasoning is ability to accept whatever happens around us, just the way it is. It soothes later though may irritate to begin with.

However, exceptions are around.  My boss’s cognitive reasoning is moving on from old patterns. He believes Alcohol should be sold in tetra packs. ” Nasha sharab me nahi hai toh bhi kya, No risk taking business”

 Corporate Definition: Reasoning is ability to get a reason for everything.

 It pains to see people go. Goodbyes hurt most when you do not get to say them. However, I think, what hurts most is to trust and be cheated.

Why would people cheat? When someone asked me this recently with choked voice and weepy eyes, I did not reply then. Actually cheating is pure definition of someone not behaving the way one should have. Days in and days out, it happens to most of us.

Life plays a game of expectations to keep human race going. If there were no expectations, there could not have been possibilities either. Some break ups are permanent damage. Therefore, someone moving on from a serious relationship may not signify a new beginning always. Someone having tear soaked, painful break up from close relationship may not amend the cracks in crystal vase ever.

“What would have happened if I were not vulnerable? Have I been emotional fool?” I heard it many times in silence recently. How could one prevent oneself from loving someone? How could you not be emotional to your own heart and people who live in that cozy corner?

We all are vulnerable to love and then to let go. Nevertheless, it is worth loving and let go hundred times then  to close your heart and not let it brighten from power of giving. It pains, it hurts and it proves that you are alive. May not be for a new beginning but for own strength of being able to give and breathe afresh.

For all those who have loved and lost, with a silent prayer that you must find your own strength. It is within you just the way once love was.

Our past teaches us a lot. We all grow up , grow with and grow apart with relationships. I believe, very few things change as quick as relations change their faces. I have seen some people fading out of my life and have been witness to some other people’s life too.

A loved one, a known friend, a fabulous colleague; they all move on and though it hurts occasionally, the process makes space for someone else to move in. I think it is impossible to maintain every person as we embark on journey of life. I personally lost some and gained some too. Nevertheless, what charms me is the chemistry, which clicks with people who are alike, and one keeps getting them on the way. (Thankfully).

 It makes so much sense to let go and un clutter the junk of people who do not value you the same way you would. In the flash of smile, once in a while, a  treasure  sparkles on the face of a stranger. I welcome it every time. The snow melts and takes old footprints with it. New snow gets fresh footprints and new companions to walk on.

After all, life is about meeting, creating memories and moving on. If there were no memories, how poor human race would be.