Rama Moondra

So, moving on from yesterday’s post Pouvoir des émotions, what would create more powerful and effectively implementable sustenance plan?

Let’s go step by step. Today, we will discuss the first one.

Create a positive reinforcement- Start counting everything  which is good in your life. While doing this exercise, keep a paper and pen handy.  Write positives. Do not write any sentence with, “But, If, Just, Honestly.”

Just to caution you, you might time and again revisit things which are not so good in your life. Remember not to get drawn into that bend of river. Its only a downward spiral if you give up.

Your paper might look like this, “I have a good job. I have supporting spouse.”

What it should not read, “I have a good job but real bad boss.I have occasionally supporting spouse but wished someone else to be her/him.”

Nah! That’s not positive reinforcement.

Am I asking you to write imaginary stuff? No…Not at all. It’s all about focusing your entire positive energies and building them together to create a reinforcement that’s everlasting happiness, not forcefully created euphoria.

So, once you have done this in isolation, read the paper. It has tremendous power of uplifting otherwise sagging spirit.

Second Strategy on Emotional Sustenance? As always…come back to this place tomorrow.

“Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used.” Richard E. Byrd

The word I fancy a lot is called Emotional Sustenance. This is a theory based on what is right in your life versus what is wrong. I meet a lot of people every day. Loads of counseling, trainings and coaching keeps my hands full. I always encounter both sides of coin. Its mind boggling to see how weak and timid people are when it comes to Sustenance.

Our lives are so much governed by the conversations we have with others. Either they are good or bad, positive or negative, angry or happy. The list is endless.

So what creates Emotional Sustenance?  A basic understanding of evaluating life with positives will create the feeling of worth.

We all need to belong. To someone, somewhere. We cling, we hold, we let go. Emotions all around us but hardly sustainable.

Every action has an equal or opposite reaction. We all know that. Every interaction has the same detailing. You are praised, you are emotionally charged. You are dumped, emotionally drained out. Both situations are equally powerful.

Your emotional sustenance will always be powerful if you do not let anyone overshadow it. How do people overpower it? One simple step is to scare you off by withdrawing emotional support. Someone giving you a feeling that you are not needed anymore in their life.

It immediately saps your energy and leaves you feeling unwanted. You succumb to it so much that a faint realization too does not happen. The realization that your demand is over with this person, not with the world.

People are created or destroyed just by giving or withdrawing support of emotions. Think if you have a nagging boss, quarrelling spouse, dissatisfied sex life, will your emotions be the same as in the case of this all being positive.

So, how to keep your sustenance high and keep building it over? More on this tomorrow.

Be with me.

Please read my series Evanescence to Libitina.

I was waiting for this mail ever since. My mailbox was full of mails about Capt Sandeep Sharma. Amandeep,my curious and treasured reader wanted to know the other side of story too. I had no clue how to get it though I really wanted to. So the first person came to my mind was Aditya Khanna, my friend and owner of a background verification company.

Here is a copy, paste  version of Aditya’s mail to me.

“Dear Rama,

Its heart wrenching to see Sandeep’s position. I met his father in law who also does not want to share where his daughter is. Sandeep has undergone treatment as well as police records verified his case well illustrated.

What he did not tell you that he let Poonam go after she was caught by police. He told everyone and you too that he did not have resources or energy left to fight for justice.

Sandeep came to know that Poonam was pregnant and Nishith was her boyfriend from college days. Her father hated Nishith for his weird habits and love of reptiles. Poonam is married to him and is in Australia. Sandeep withdrew all charges against her.” Aditya.

My silence was deep inside that night. Sitting in beautiful Japanese restaurant of O hotel in Pune, I kept thinking of Sandeep despite having an old friend to talk to. My call was late night at 11.30 to Sandeep. “I got this report and just wanted to know why did you do that? Is it forgiving?”

Sandeep’s silence was verbose. Long spell of silence broke with his husky voice. “I got her DNA done once I got her back. The child was mine, not of Nishith. But I was crippled, jobless. Do you think, I could manage a family? Will I ever forgive her if she came back? Nishith will be great father and a part of me will live always. I know, nobody will understand me but now that you know, I hope you do.”

Right or wrong, I am no one to judge but to me, it was most logical decision made.

To a fond reader Amandeep Singh Soni for instigating me to find more details.

A new series of Emotional Development begins tomorrow. See you same place again.