Hurt and Heal..No Gender Bias
This write up is in a way response to three people. Anil and Abhishek, for their comments and questions . Vivek , a complete stranger for his call and request to articulate his story. Vivek has a single female boss. Happy with each other professionally, Vivek almost started looking at her as mentor and elder sister feeling. Here, I understand Vivek’s position. He lost his mother at 15 years age. I am sure anyone who slightly gave a sheltered feel,made close connect with his heart. This resulted in sharing personal details, dinners and movies. For Vivek, it did not mean so but for his boss the equation started changing. She went an extra mile to make life easy for Vivek at work.
One night on his way to drop her home after a long day at work, she invited him. Vivek shocked and hurt, explained her the way he thought about her.
Vivek was transferred to other office in same city. His product portfolio has changed and a new struggle has begun.
He asked me,”What did I do, I did everything to make her happy at work . Is not she a Sadist? Asking for attention?What went wrong? “.To me, nothing actually. Everyone needs attention in life. Sharing stories of personal pain with someone brings a feeling of intimacy.Once the bond is established, failing on it is embarrassing.
Masochism or Sadism both gets attention for a short term. Then it bounces back following third law.”Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. Anil is right when he says, Men pause better at times . Their capacity of dumping past is higher if the new beginning is their choice.
Vivek, what if the situation was other way round? Would you be hurt as much? I agree with Abhishek, Not only women live for others and that again can not be generalized.
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:34 pm
I like to favor and differ at th same time..i favor when u say that everyone needs attention nd sometimes personal time spent with a good “listener” makes u feel closer…my question to mr.v wd b different.”how do ya think u wd handle it if taken to past now ”
I beg to little differ when u say men r good at dumping…my personal bias wd state that they r mor preserving…they r good at digging archives.
December 25th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Thanks for writing Rama, I could not get Boss’s question. If taken to past means what?
Rama,will you write something on women using their charm in office? No offence meant ( I saw your picture on LinkedIn. You yourself are very charming). Waiting for your comment and Boss’s clarity.
December 25th, 2009 at 10:04 am
hi vivek…well i empathise with the situation that u have been into..i thought let me seek ur idea whether would u like to differ the way you would respond, if u happen to face a similar situation again?
December 26th, 2009 at 3:28 am
I appreciate your write up to issues these days need attention.
To Mr. Vivek – felt sorry for you, could understand how you must have felt at that moment. Not your fault.
To Boss – I agree with you, Man cannot move on easily, it is just that stand the same place.